


you make me feel right

by simplytheworst



Series: The Best [4]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, First Time, Fluff, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Mention of - Freeform, Oral Sex, Patching things up, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, broken trust, but you can skip that part if you want/need, don't worry we all know it doesn't stay sad, s4e07: The Barbecue, se4e08: The Olive Branch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-05-16 06:50:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplytheworst/pseuds/simplytheworst
Summary: Patrick hurts David and tortures himself, offering olive branches so that David will talk to him. David confronts his past trauma and decides to finally open up to Patrick about it, but first he needs to make things right after he put off their reconciliation in favour of the gifts he was receiving.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You had to know this was coming... the [dreadful] barbecue episode. This is mostly around Patrick's experience since David's is mostly on the show.
> 
> Rating is for future chapter(s?). This chapter isn't smutty, sorry fam. It was hard to include smut while writing around the events of this episode, but I promise there will be smut in this work!

Patrick took a deep breath to calm his nerves once the door closed behind him. He’d been cautious about David’s aversion to talking feelings or their future, but with the plans he had for that night, he couldn’t let David spin out. He wanted that night to do something terrifying, that would require his boyfriend to talk about both feelings and their future. It was surprising how well David took his words, though not without concerning remarks about his past. Patrick hated hearing David worry about tempting fate, as though he was scared that their relationship could easily fall apart. He needed to make sure David knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Getting the signatures from city council would have gone much quicker, had Moira Rose not been one of the members. It was no surprise that she roped Patrick into a conversation much longer than intended, not that he minded. She was a pleasant enough person who had more than just a flare for the dramatics, which said enough to how David came to be. Talking to her quickly made it clear that she was acting the concerned mother looking out for her son as she asked him question after question like an interrogation. He had no problem with it, he was sure about David, a series of personal and invasive questions was going to shake that, he also knew he was good at getting parental approval. Seemingly satisfied with his answers and affection for David, she asked if he would be attending the barbecue. 

“Barbecue?” Patrick frowned, indicating to her that this was the first he was hearing of it. When she explained it, he didn’t fully understand why David didn’t invite him. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t met his entire family. Though, the more he thought about it, it made sense with how David acted when he got to the store and even with how Moira prodded him. They were elated that David had someone — was in his longest relationship — and they all wanted to see them together. A sort of welcome to the family: the exact sort of thing that implied permanency and would have David squirming.

“That sounds wonderful,” Patrick smiled, trying to hide his own worried thoughts. 

“Our David has always been apprehensive to good things,” Moira stated, “He often doesn’t know when he has one. You will be attending the barbecue, won’t you?”

 Thankfully from there, the conversation turned humorous with poking fun at David. It wasn’t much longer until David sped into the room in an irritated panic. Patrick actually hadn’t been away from the store that long, despite David’s comment on looking for him on train tracks, but when David realized Patrick was with his mother he had to intervene. Patrick happily left him alone with his mother in favour of keeping the store open, not without teasing the man.

He knew he shouldn’t be hurt by David not inviting him to the barbecue, but it still stung a little. It was David being David, and though the man had made impressive strides in their relationship, it still sucked that he was still wary of it. Patrick was on the verge of saying very heavy words, words he was sure of them, but he just wasn’t sure how David would respond. He wanted to believe David felt the same, hell, he was almost sure of it most days, but then David would take steps back, as though holding a foot out the door to run before he got hurt. 

It sank Patrick’s heart. So, he held onto something that reminded him that this was all new to David: he was David’s longest relationship. It was what got him to the store without turning around to go give David a swoon worthy kiss in hopes it would convey the truth. Then his phone pinged.

— _Can we talk?_

Patrick sighed at the text on his phone. Several unanswered texts later and Rachel was still messaging him. He thought he’d been clear over a month ago when he told her they weren’t going to be getting back together this time. He actually thought he was clear when they broke up six months ago. 

 _I know this is hard,_   _but I said everything I need to say already. I’m sorry_

It felt like he was hurting himself as much as he was hurting her. She was his best friend, they were there for each other their entire lives, but he had to let her go, for both of their sakes. 

— _I’m in_ _Schitt_ _’s Creek. Meet me at_ _Café_ _Tropical in an hour._

Fuck. Patrick almost dropped his phone at the response. What was she doing? Why couldn’t she let this go? He wondered, but it was obvious, she was only doing what he would do for David.

_You shouldn’t be here. Please go home._

He hated himself for being cold, but of all days, he couldn’t deal with the thought of her and David possibly meeting. Not when he hadn’t told David about her and when he was trying to so hard to have David believe just how much he wanted him. She didn’t respond right away so he put his phone away and got to work, hoping to put her out of his mind.

 

**

 

“Okay, what did you and my mother talk about?” David asked as soon as he stepped back into Rose Apothecary. 

“Excuse me, one second,” Patrick excused himself from the customer he’d been helping to meet with David by the counter. “What did  _you_ talk to her about?” he deflected, wondering why David was even more on edge now. 

“Well, she seems to think she can call you ‘Pat’ now,” David walked around the counter, as though needing to pace but trying to refrain from it and opting to move from A to B instead.

Patrick laughed, “Some people do call me Pat.” David responded with the most horrified, disgusted look Patrick swore he ever saw him give. “Or they won’t anymore?”

David nodded vigorously in approval, making Patrick laugh more. “She also seems to think…” he cut himself off suddenly. “You know what, you should finish helping them and I need to uh check something back here.” He didn’t give Patrick a chance to respond as he disappeared behind the curtain into the stockroom.

When the customer rang out and left the store, Patrick dipped into the backroom to see David pacing erratically. 

“All this because of a cookie?” Patrick startled him, hoping that some lighthearted teasing might ease his tension.

“Not because of a cookie,” David stopped to respond, “Because— because you’re you!”

Patrick arched an eyebrow, walking slowly towards him. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Ye- No! No,” David shook his head emphatically. “I just mean, that- uh…” he faltered as Patrick was close enough so he could rest his hands on the taller man’s hips.

“Yes David?” Patrick asked earnestly.

David sighed into his touch, urging himself to relax, to trust the man in front of him despite his lifetime experience yelling for him to leave before he gets left. “I just mean that you’re good. Too good, too kind and my family’s going to eat you alive.”

“Is that what you think of me?” Patrick smiled, then added as an afterthought, “Is that what you think of your family?”

“Yes and absolutely, yes.” David rested his hands on Patrick’s chest, a familiar habit that made his stomach flip each time. 

“Well, David,” Patrick settled in closer, pressing against him as he spoke softly, “I, for one, think this barbecue is a great idea, I want to get to know your family more, because,” he paused briefly, confidence wavering, “I’m not going anywhere.”

David swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that were building up. He believed Patrick when he said that and somehow that scared him just as much as not believing him. Yet, somehow it also thrilled him and warmed his heart. “Mhm?” he managed to ask wordlessly, with a smile growing on his lips.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Patrick repeated firmly, returning the smile. It wasn’t the moment he’d planned for the day, but it would do, because David’s smile was enough to melt him right then and there. He wasn’t squirming or making offhand remarks to change the conversation, he was actually basking in the warmth and steadiness of Patrick’s words.

“Come here,” David mumbled, pulling him into a deep, sweet kiss. 

Then the bell rang and it was back to work despite David’s groans and attempts at negotiating.

 

**

 

The barbecue was going great, so much better than David expected. Seeing the way Patrick fit in so easily at a table with his parents and Stevie eased his mind. He had Patrick’s words on repeat since they left the store: ‘I’m not going anywhere;’ ‘you have nothing to worry about;’ and ‘trust people.’ He hoped the more he thought them the more he could accept them. Smiling at Patrick across the table was almost enough.

But just as he settled into the world outside his walls, Alexis arrived with a stranger who somehow knew Patrick. When David looked back at Patrick, there was an expression he’d never seen before on him, a sort of anguish at the recognition of the woman as he asked what she was doing there. Patrick barely got the words out, his worlds colliding in front of him, before and after merging into a now he hadn’t prepared for. Then Alexis let ‘fiancée’ slip out and it was so much worse. He knew it was simple to explain to David, but he couldn’t think straight, his words stammered and jumbled, saying it all wrong. 

David’s heart hammered in his chest as Patrick admitted to having had a fiancée. Everything he expected to happen once he let his guard down happened. Patrick had been lying, keeping something hidden, maybe he was using David for experimenting, planning the whole time to go back to this Rachel chick. Why was she there? He couldn’t handle it, not with everyone who assured him he was finally in the clear around watching things fall apart for him. He got up and rushed to his motel room where Patrick followed him to.

Everything in David hurt, he thought Patrick was a better person than one who would hide such a big part of their past. Especially a past that could just show up out of the blue. A part of him reasoned that it wasn’t that big of a deal, he was also reluctant to talk about big parts of his past. He thought getting Patrick to explain would help keep him from further spinning out, but hearing that this Rachel had been an on-again-off-again type of situation who’d been messaging him for the past few  _months_ to get back together, he couldn’t shake the flashbacks of hidden texts revealing the worst in people he trusted. 

Patrick couldn’t quite believe this was happening, he never intended for David to find out this way and he wanted desperately for David to believe that his past relationship wasn’t a threat. Patrick said all the right words and David tried so hard to believe them, a part of him even did, but everything was a mess now. A four letter word had been caught in his throat all day and now it was choking him, burning him like a derisive laugh. Patrick had been hiding things and it scared him to wonder what else could be hiding under the surface. 

Both of them felt as though their insides crumbled when Patrick closed the door behind him. Patrick held back tears as he returned to the others, he asked Alexis to bring David a plate of food, certain that if he went back to David’s room, he wouldn’t be able to give the man the space he deserved. Alexis tried to apologize and say other things, but he didn’t want to hear what she said. He wasn’t mad at her, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for her need to make this about her. 

“Come on,” he said to Rachel, leading her away from the Roses and the motel. 

Rachel waited until they were a good distance before asking, “Who was that Patrick?”

“David Rose,” he told her, getting the hint that the Roses didn’t think it was appropriate for them to tell her. He was both grateful and upset by that, it’d be easier for him if he didn’t have to do this part. “My boyfriend,” he added before she inquired further.  _At least, I hope he still is,_ he thought grimly. 

He watched as she absorbed the words, wincing at the crestfallen face. “Is that why you didn’t meet me at the café?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” he whispered, holding back tears. He hurt David and now he was hurting Rachel all over again. He shouldn’t be allowed to care for anyone, he only caused them pain.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she asked, “Why you left?”

“No,” Patrick shook his head adamently, “It wasn’t like that, Rachel, I swear. I left because it wasn’t working again and… I didn’t know why it never did, I didn’t know until I met him. I’m gay, Rachel.” It was the first time he said it out loud and had it been under any other circumstance, he was sure that it would have made him feel lighter, but it wasn’t and he just felt so heavy.

She swallowed hard, looking away for a long while before speaking again with a dry laugh. “Couldn’t you have figured this out earlier?” 

Patrick let out a choked chuckle, “I’ve been wondering that myself. I’m really sorry, Rachel.”

She reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’ll get over it, but I don’t want you apologizing for who you are. That’s not the Patrick I know.” She smiled hesitantly and he smiled gratefully back.

“Uh, oh boy,” he exhaled loudly, trying to keep back the tears with a small chuckle, “I hate to ask this, but could you not tell anyone? I haven’t told my parents yet.”

Rachel nodded, letting go of his hand. “I hope he’s the one.”

“I think he is.”

She smiled sadly at that, it was clear she wanted to be supportive, but he could see the heartbreak. 

“Look, Rachel,” he started but she shook her head.

“Don’t, please,” she stepped away, “I’ll need some time, but after, don’t you dare be a stranger.”

“I won’t,” he promised and let her walk back to the motel, where Alexis took her aside. Leave it to Alexis to accidentally befriend his ex and implode his life without it even being her fault. He couldn’t go back to the barbecue, even though his car was in the motel parking lot, instead he walked down the road and all the way home. Maybe he’d get Stevie to drive his car over to him or something. 

 

**

 

Waking up the next morning was like waking up from a night of heavy drinking. Patrick’s head was heavy and his chest ached as everything from the previous day slammed into him. Without letting himself think too much about it, he sent a quick text to David, letting him know that he would watch the store for him if he needed more time. He showered with a ear to the shower curtain, hoping to hear his phone ping with a notification. While he tried not to get his hopes up, he was hoping that one night would have been enough space for David. 

By the time he opened up the store, there was still no reply. He told himself it was okay if David didn’t respond. Then he got his hopes up again by telling himself that David wouldn’t even be awake yet. He wondered if he should have left the store closed with how messy his thoughts were — there was no way he was going to get much done at all. He tried to busy himself with paperwork, but he couldn’t focus. When he tried to work on product replenishment, he kept mixing up the products. Then when he tried to help customers, it was as if he forgot everything about everything in the store. In the end he just felt useless. Useless to the store and useless to ease David’s suffering. 

Early afternoon brought in Stevie, ready to grab his car keys so he could get his car back without having to swing by the motel again. It was too painful while he waited for David to be ready to talk to him. He was grateful for Stevie agreeing to it, but he wished she didn’t have that look of pity.

“How are you holding up?” she asked tentatively. 

Patrick sighed as he pulled his keys out of his bag. “I don’t know,” He replied honestly, then chanced, “How is he?”

Stevie took a moment to decide before she told him, “He hasn’t gotten out of bed according to Alexis, not even to eat.”

Patrick felt like the world biggest asshole for hurting David so bad. “Do you think we’ll be okay?” he asked, dropping the keys into her hand.

She shrugged unhelpfully, but earnestly. “I hope so.”

“Me too,” he breathed out and watched her leave. He shouldn’t have asked her anything, but he needed to know if David was okay. She said he hadn’t even eaten yet and if there was a truer sign that David was decidedly not okay, that was it. Hoping that maybe he could help ease some of the hurt he dealt, he pulled his phone out and ordered David’s favourite food in the area to be delivered to him, it could be an olive branch to get David to talk to him. 

It was an hour later before his phone chimed and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

— _Thank you._

He couldn’t help but grin at the screen, glad his gift made did the trick and got David to respond. It took him far too long to craft a response, wanting to say everything and not wanting to scare him away. Finally, he settled on what he hoped would make David feel normal.

_I was actually helping Alexis out. Stevie told me you hadn’t eaten and I could let your poor sister be stuck in a room with a hangry David._

He wasn’t sure if David would appreciate the humour so soon, but it was the only thing that felt appropriate. Speaking to each other in jest was the core of their relationship, it was what brought them closer together after they met. It was almost time to close up the store by the time David got back to him.

_—I’ll thank Alexis then for the good food, she’ll be thrilled to take credit without being the one who paid_

It released the tension in Patrick’s chest to see that David was willing to joke with him. Tentatively, he typed out a text, erased it, typed out another, erased that one, and finally typed one more out and hit send before he could erase it once more.

_Can we talk?_

He almost laughed at the irony of it all, just the day before Rachel had sent him that exact same text. Only, he hoped for better results than the ones she got. Patrick slowly got to closing tasks that went by awkwardly as he kept his phone in hand, waiting anxiously for David’s reply. It came while he was counting the till.

— _I don’t think I can yet…_

Patrick’s heart sank.

— _But I’m okay if you want to keep texting._

A glimmer of hope was all Patrick needed and that was it. He just had to coax David into talking with him, but in the meantime, they’d could talk casually. It was a thousand times better than silence. He smiled softly at his phone and replied.

_What do you want to text about?_

Patrick wanted to talk about only one thing, but David wasn’t ready, which left him at a loss for how to converse with him.

— _The store’s still standing?_

_There was a moment I thought it might sit down, but alas, it is still standing._

— _If it walks, there better be video._

_You’ll be the first person I send it too._

It wasn’t much, still, Patrick felt a little lighter than he had that morning. There was hope for him and David.

 

**

 

A week later, David still wasn’t ready to talk and Patrick had been resorting to some lavish olive branches. Particularly, a bracelet that wasn’t cheap but he knew David would love. Even with his own questionable tastes — only ever questioned by David — he was sure it would be a hit. He spent four months learning about David’s likes after all. Unfortunately, after days of meaningless text conversations and olive branches that still didn’t lead David to be ready to talk, he was feeling defeated. 

If the bracelet wasn’t enough, he was sure it meant David would never be ready. That Patrick had broken them too much — had hurt him too much. When that day ended and David still didn’t appear anywhere other than on his phone’s screen, he got the message. What he did was unforgivable.

Then he worried, maybe he pushed David farther away by not truly giving him space and he fell deeper into anguish. He could only hope that David would still be willing to work with him. He loved Rose Apothecary, but he’d understand if he had to leave it. 

If only he had known the last time he kissed David was his last time ever. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and David finally have the dreaded 'dating history' conversation, despite David's aversion to being open and vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags updated for this chapter.
> 
> I think it's commonly accepted in this fandom that David's dating history contains some rape/non-con elements, but here is the warning that there are mentions of that in this chapter. 
> 
> If you wish to skip the part that explicitly references it, stop reading at the paragraph that begins with '“Um,” he gestured...' and search for the word 'smoothing', then read from the beginning of that paragraph.

Patrick couldn’t believe it, he was elated and frustrated and annoyed and so fucking happy. David wanted to be with him still! He wanted to kiss David passionately, but he couldn’t let David off the hook so easily for letting him continue to torture himself despite having already forgiven him.  

Patrick grabbed onto David’s face, resisting the desire to pull him close. A week without touching him made Patrick ache all the more to kiss him, touch him, hold him, but he knew he’d get to later. David wanted him, forgave him and they were together. He didn’t have to worry about not knowing if they’d ever kiss again.

“You know what I’m going to do?” Patrick said in a low voice.

“Mhm?” David smiled, knees weak. He certainly hadn’t forgotten how sexy the man was, but his memory didn’t do justice to the way Patrick made his body react. 

“I’m going to to lunch and you’re gonna sit here, and think about what you’ve done. Okay?”

“Okay.” David couldn’t say more than that, Patrick really did know how to torture him. There was no way he didn’t know how arousing his words were to David and he was going to leave David alone to run the store right after. God, David wished he could drag Patrick into the stock room for some very inappropriate activities. But he knew Patrick was upset and needed to have some sort of retaliation. Which was okay because he knew that Patrick wasn’t angry and that he hadn’t screwed things up. It was a strange feeling, not being worried for once, but he liked it. Even if he was sure that it wouldn’t last long, especially with the things they needed to talk about, he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Before Patrick could actually leave the store, David asked him to bring him back food, which made the man breathe out, “unbelievable” in disbelief. Then he was gone and David was smiling to himself. He wasn’t sure yet what his olive branch would be, but he knew that regardless of what he did, everything would be okay between them.

 

**

 

“Stevie?” Patrick called out after entering the Rosebud Motel’s office to it being empty.

“Back here!” she called out from the back room and he quickly went in. 

He stopped short of the door at the open suitcase of make up sitting in front of her. “What’s going on?”

“Long story short, I have to make this look as awful as possible for Mr. Rose," she told him vaguely, she would love to fill him in on the whole mess, but she knew he needed to talk about something. He rarely showed up at the motel without David, let alone to see her. Sure they had a good friendship going on, but it was mostly through text. “Sit.” She patted the chair next to her and he obliged slowly.

“I don’t think it’ll be difficult to make any of that look awful,” he joked, staring at the very elaborate selection clearly meant for pre-teens.

“That is very true,” she nodded, “Now, what brings you to this luxurious motel?”

Patrick sighed, “I was going to vent about David, but I realise now that you likely know everything, especially the part where he was being an selfish.”

“Ah,” Stevie slowly nodded, of course David let it slip that he was enjoying the attention and gifts, she honestly thought he might hold out a little longer than half a day, but Patrick wouldn’t be there now if it wasn’t that. “To be fair, not that I’m defending him, but you were spoiling him a lot there and how was he to know if it’d continue after talking with you?”

“Yeah, not my brightest idea,” he conceded, “Still, I was torturing myself over hurting him and how upset he must be while he was perfectly fine and biding his time.”

“Point taken.” She plucked up a bright blush and found a brush for it. “He’s an idiot, but he’s your idiot and problem now.” That brought a huge grin to Patrick face and Stevie mock-gagged. 

He knew she would help him get some perspective on the situation, even if she had an aversion for his sappiness. Just like their disagreements in how to launch the store, it was done now and there wasn’t much point in arguing about it. In all honesty, he wasn’t terribly upset, but he wouldn’t be Patrick if he didn’t make David squirm some. While not upset, it was certainly nice to have someone else to talk to about David who was frustrated by, but also loved, his quirkiness. “Need help?” he nodded to the make up, sure he could pick out the worst colours for her. 

“Have at it,” she nodded and he got to choosing eyeshadows and lipstick for her.

“Are you guys booked solid tonight?” he asked casually, hoping not to sound to invested in the answer.

“Sounds like you want to book something  _solid_ tonight.” Stevie smirked at him, making him blush.

 

**

 

When Tina Turner’s Simply the Best faded out of the speakers of Rose Apothecary, David was on his knees in front of Patrick breathing heavily with his arms leaning on Patrick’s legs. Patrick grinned down at the man, of the list of possible olive branches a lip sync and dance was decidedly  **not**  on it. But it was so wonderfully perfect — David putting himself out there despite the fact anyone could have seen it; he was willing to embarrass himself for Patrick. Patrick only ever knew him willing to do so for his family, a show of how much he cared for them — and now, how much he cared for Patrick.

Patrick grabbed onto David’s face and pulled him up to kiss him hard. His heart beat loud in his chest while his hands wound into hair and his tongue slipped into his David’s mouth. David quickly shuffled so that he was straddling Patrick on the chair, unable to get close enough to him as he wrapped his arms around the man. Both men were making up for lost time in the kiss, their tongues dancing wildly together and their hands pulling the other closer and closer. Then Patrick’s teeth sunk into David’s bottom lip and he moaned into Patrick’s mouth, making him almost lose all control.

“Fuck David,” Patrick pulled away and smiled, “I missed you.” His face was flushed, pupils blown, and, as David could feel, was very attentive to the slow roll of David’s hip.

“I missed you too,” David whispered, trying to catch his breath. He wanted more, so much more. He missed Patrick’s laugh, his relentless teasing, his touch, his warmth, everything. He especially missed the way Patrick handled him, like right then as Patrick’s hands shot down to his hips, holding him still.

“We… can’t,” he forced out, unable to believe he was stopping this. For a brief moment, he didn’t care that they were at the store, in front of large windows, he just wanted David. Unfortunately for his stiffening cock, his rational side still had some say in his actions and he had to stop it. It wasn’t as though they wouldn’t get a chance to later, the key in his bag reminded him.

“I know,” David smirked, “Not in the store.”

“No, I mean yes, but also,” Patrick was flustered, trying to keep his mind on task with David Rose sitting on his lap with his lips so close was damn near impossible, “Now is probably when we should talk.”

David’s heart stopped and reality hit him hard. He knew this was supposed to happen, he was prepared for this — if he hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have gone back to the store that day or down that lip sync. Still, his anxiety found its way back into its home nestled deep in his brain, whispering terrible ‘what if’s. 

“Right, yeah, we should definitely, uh do that.” He got up and stepped back to give Patrick some space to get up himself. “Um, where would you like to… uh talk?”

Patrick tried not to convey the concern he felt at David’s sudden rush of panic on his face and slowly got up. “I hadn’t actually thought about it. We could just stay here?” He thought about the motel, but knew they would definitely get side tracked there.

David crossed his arms protectively and nodded rigorously. “Mhm, yes, alright, of course. Here is perfect.”

“Come on,” Patrick gently unwrapped one of David’s arms to take his hand and led him to the back room. Past the stock boxes to the small office space — though Patrick wouldn’t say a couch and a old school desk really makes an office space — so that they could sit comfortably on the couch and not in front of giant windows. He didn’t want David to feel exposed, and to be honest, he didn’t want to feel that way either.

“So,” David breathed out after a small silence.

“If we’re going to be together David,” Patrick started and quickly continued at the sudden panic on his boyfriend’s face, “And I want nothing more than that, but we need to be completely open with each other for this to work.”

David nodded slowly, his throat was drying and somehow his eyes were too. The one time he wanted to cry and nothing. “Mhm, I agree.” He squeezed Patrick’s hand.

“I want you to know,” Patrick went on, taking the first hit for them, “Rachel is my only ex, in every sense of ex. She was my best friend and I thought it made sense to date her, I loved her,” David sucked in a quick breath at this, so he hurried his speech, “But not the way I was supposed to, I wasn’t ever going to love her that way. I didn’t know why, I spent so long feeling like I was broken or I was missing something. She was so good and we got along so well, it didn’t make sense that things didn’t feel right with her, which is why we kept falling back together even when it didn’t work — I wanted it to work so much. 

Then, over six months ago, I realized I was never going to find the part of me I felt was missing with her. So I ended things and left town. I knew if I didn’t leave, I would fall back into our pattern. Then I met you and everything in my life started to make sense, I started to feel all the things I knew I was supposed to feel. When you kissed me, I knew for sure that I wasn’t broken. 

I didn’t think I should tell you all this, because I hadn’t been able to connect my present self to who I was. I know it was a mistake to keep it from you, I wanted to tell you so many times… Now that you know though, I have to make sure you know that you have nothing to worry about in my past. I’m gay.” He finished simply, the word feeling light in his mouth and the tension he didn’t know he was holding relaxed as David smiled softly.

“Thank you,” was all David could bring himself to say, so he followed it with a short, sweet kiss. Patrick’s smile was warm and exposing, but David wasn’t scared. Okay, maybe he was a little scared because the lump in his throat wouldn’t go away. He hated this, he wanted nothing more than to tell Patrick everything, but no amount of repeating Stevie’s words made it any easier. He’d only ever told everything to her and even then, he didn’t exactly voice it all — most of it was through texts, her making connections on her own, or both.

“So, um,” Patrick cleared his throat after David didn’t say anything for a few minutes, “I know you’ve alluded to having a… expanse history, but I barely know anything about it other than you haven’t contracted anything from it,” which he learned within the first week of their relationship given David had been tested before it began, “You don’t have to tell me unless—”

“No,” David interjected harsher than he intended. “I want to,” he added softer, “I just, need to uh take my time doing so.”

“Okay,” Patrick covered their hands with his other one to envelope David’s completely.

David swallowed hard, he just had to rip off the band-aid. Except he’d never done that before, it was the sort of thing Alexis did for him. He could only ever slowly peel it off, one millimetre at a time, wincing the entire time. “I think it’s easier if I don’t go over every single person, and honestly, I don’t think there’ll ever be a need for you to worry about one night stands because they were always drug-induced and often the other person was the one who woke up in shame. So…” he cringed, he didn’t like this already. He wanted to coat it all with brazen jokes and a flippant shrug, but it wasn’t appropriate, nor would it be what he needed to do.

Patrick squeezed his hand gently, the small encouragement that he needed. “Anyway,” he began with his first relationship, the one who took advantage of his youth and bank account. The first one to make him realise that no one really liked him, they just wanted to use him for his body and/or for his money. Maybe it was that mentality that had him continuously falling into the beds of users and abusers, or maybe it was the world he lived in before Schitt’s Creek. As he continued, he confessed that there wasn’t so many significant exes as there were people who constantly confirmed his belief that he was not enough.

Patrick stayed silent while he spoke, nodding here and there, squeezing his hands, and not once looking at him in judgment. Instead, his eyes were filled with compassion and warmth. The more David spoke, the less scary it all felt. He knew that Stevie was right, that Patrick wouldn’t run if he was vulnerable, but it was something entirely different to see it in front of him. The affection for the man blossomed in his chest and it made it easier to share how he was dumped while parasailing, giving him an aversion to heights. He barely felt shame over how he met the birthday clown because it was in the past and Patrick was right in front of him. He knew the story didn’t paint him in a good light, he’d been having an affair with a married man — well two affairs, he was also sleeping with the man’s wife — and somehow found himself invited to their kid’s birthday party where he met the charming birthday clown. He knew Patrick might use the story to tease him, but Patrick would never treat him differently or think any less of him. It was strange to believe that of someone, to not worry about judgment, but it was also incredibly comforting. 

“I just have to remind you, I was a different person then, I didn’t think I mattered,”  _sometimes I still don’t_ , the thought popped into his head and he wrestled to squash it, “I didn’t care who I slept with so long as during I felt wanted.” And Patrick still looked at him with such a tenderness that he could cry. He might actually cry though, he was getting close to the Sebastien of it all. A wound that was still open despite how David left things between them the last time they saw each other. He’d been sure it was a wound that would take a lifetime to heal, but the closer he got to Patrick, the more he thought maybe he could close it for good much sooner.

“Patrick,” his voice shook and he tried clearing his throat to steady it, “Do you— uh” he pulled his hand away and shot up from the couch unable to do this. He waved his hands at his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. It was the part of his past he couldn’t talk about, hadn’t ever talked about, the part that would scare Patrick away. He was sure of it, even though he wasn’t actually sure. His anxiety confused him, he knew Patrick wasn’t anything like the kind of person who would run at this, but he couldn’t shake the worries.

“David,” Patrick’s voice was soft as he rose to stand in front of David. He didn’t reach out to touch him, sensing that David needed some physical space to say what he wanted to say. “It’s okay, whatever it is, I’m not going anywhere.”

Okay, now he was actually crying and no amount of hand waving was stopping it. He didn’t like Patrick seeing him like this, it made him feel small — easy for someone to step on. He turned around, wiping furiously at his eyes, angry at them for betraying him. Then, firm gentle hands turned him around and pulled him in. Patrick held David tight against his chest, letting the man crumble into his arms, face burying into his shoulder. He had no idea what was hurting David so much that he was crying, but Patrick hoped that holding him tight enough would let him take on some of that pain. 

No one had done this for David before. Sure when he was a kid, the odd nanny actually did care when he got upset, but not since then. He always cried alone, in secret, not wanting to give anyone the chance to strike at his exposed weakness. But Patrick holding him wordlessly, was everything he never knew he needed. It was the firm reminder that he wasn’t in that life anymore, he was in a new and improved one. One that included a good man who genuinely cared about him and wasn’t scared of his sharp edges and broken past.

“Okay,” David pulled away, wiping his face again. Patrick kissed him softly on the lips, then on both cheeks, tasting salty tears and wiping the spots with his thumbs after each kiss, before he let go of David and the tenderness was too perfect that David might cry again. He didn’t even care that his face must have been a red splotchy disaster or his nose was gross and snotty. He only cared about the way Patrick smiled at him like nothing else in the world mattered. 

“Um,” he gestured for them to sit back down as he collected the words he needed, “I haven’t said, like, any of this out loud, in person, verbally before.” The only reason Stevie knew was because of a connection she made and a long text conversation. “You remember, uh, before we opened the store when my mom had that New York photographer come in?”

“Mhm,” Patrick nodded slowly. He remembered it all, including the name, Sebastien Raine. At the time, he was just starting to get to know David, but he was already aware of the crush he had on the man. As such, hearing about exes wasn’t something he forgot, especially when one had him so wound up. He actually obsessed over the fact that his ex was in town, worried that they would fall back together the way he always did with Rachel and he’d lose out on his chance at figuring out what was between him and David. 

“Well, uh, Sebastien was my ex, which I’m sure I told you, we weren’t together very long, just like three months, four if you count when he saw other people, but honestly, I’m not sure he ever didn’t see other people,” David was rambling a bit, he wasn’t sure how he was going to say it, but he was sure he’d get there somehow, “At first, I was blown away by him, he was dreadfully handsome and he has this way of making you feel incredibly important. It made me not care about the red flags here and there, I was important to someone and it was... exhilarating.”

Patrick got the sense of where this was heading and carefully reached out for David’s hand, pausing to let David decide if he wanted it. Slowly, David took his hand, grateful for his touch, but unable to maintain eye contact as he continued, “Yeah, so when there were ‘surprise’ threesomes, I went along with them, when he took photos of me, somewhat compromising ones, when I told him to not to, I let it go,” David shuddered at the thought of Sebastien still having those, somewhat glad the monster of a man never shared them publicly, “and when he texted all throughout the night and wouldn’t say who was on the other end, I ignored it. When Alexis told me that he was using me for my gallery, I told her she was wrong. And she was in a way, I mean, he absolutely used me for exposure with my gallery, but that wasn’t all he used me for… 

Towards the end, there were things he wanted to do with— to me uh in bed that I wasn’t comfortable with and he’d get all upset and talk about how it would help us connect better or some other bullshit he claimed his therapist told him. He um would utilize some of the things I like to get his way, even when I said I didn’t want to. He tried to convince me that it would be good for me, it was like he was deciding what I wanted, not me. It went on for more than a few weeks, and I stayed. Even though he was hurting me and ignoring me when I wanted to stop, he still found a way to make me feel important. Then he dropped me for someone new and shiny, and I was devastated.” David squeezed his eyes shut at that admission, he hated that he’d been heartbroken by Sebastien when he should have felt free.

Patrick’s eyes were tearing up and he struggled to keep from squeezing David’s hand too tight as the urge to curl his own into a fist struck him. It was a good thing that he hadn’t know this when Sebastien was in Schitt’s Creek, or Patrick might have assault charges on his record. Though, he knew it was Sebastien who should have such charges. “David,” Patrick breathed out, unsure what else he could say, what was there to say to someone who just opened up about such abuse? There was a swell of mixed emotions in his chest, he wanted to protect David from his past, wanted to hurt those who hurt him, wanted to kiss his boyfriend and show him how much he deserved to be cared for, and wanted to thank him for the tremendous trust he put in Patrick. He never knew how much trust David truly gave him when he first said ‘stop when I say stop,’ there’s always trust in having sex with anyone, but it was clear to David that something like that required so much more trust than Patrick could ever realize. It both pained him and filled him with affection that David had already trusted him so much so early in their relationship.

David shook his head, holding back more tears, if Patrick said any more he wouldn’t be able to finish sharing his own history. “After him, I moved back in with my parents for a time. When I moved back to New York to start a new gallery, I didn’t date again. I used far too many party drugs and slept with more people than advisable. Then, I was visiting my parents and the government seized all our assets and we landed here, in Schitt’s Creek where the sort of hook up culture I fell into doesn’t exist. Well, if you don’t count Jake, he’s like if that culture made up one person.” He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m glad you ended up here,” Patrick said warmly, kissing his knuckles, “I don’t exactly love the things that brought you here, mostly, I want to beat the crap out of most of the people in your past, but I’m glad you got here so that we could meet.”

David didn’t think he was going to smile so soon after sharing that information. He’d felt so much shame over it that he was convinced no one would stay with him after knowing about it. Who would want to be with someone so broken they stayed with someone who abused them? He leaned over to kiss Patrick gratefully. “I’m glad too.” He kissed him again. “But can we talk about this ‘beating the crap out of people?’ Because I want— no need to know more about this side of you.”

Patrick laughed, tears he’d been holding back leaking from his eyes, and he wiped them away quickly, “I’ll have my parents send some old tapes of me playing hockey.”

“Mm, no I want to see it presently,” David smirked. He may be well moved on from his past, but the thought of Patrick even being a little bit of a thug was very appealing to him. Patrick shook his head, “David, I’m not just going to fight someone randomly.”

"That’s no fun,” David pouted.

"Well, maybe if someone from your past shows up…”  _Specifically one named Sebastien_ , he added in his head. 

David grinned and slid over onto Patrick’s lap to kiss him hard. “You know the way to a man’s heart,” he said dramatically against Patrick’s lips. “Thank you.” He added, exhaling in relief as all his fears of the conversation dissolved.

“For what?” Patrick asked and both were thinking back to their first kiss. Roles reversed now, Patrick didn’t feel there was anything David needed to thank him for and David felt like he needed to be thanking the man for the rest of his life.

“For listening, not rejecting me for being a mess, for letting so many people hurt me, for—”

“David,” Patrick reached up to stroke his boyfriend’s cheek, “I could never reject you. Especially not for your past. You were a victim, none of it was your fault.”

Victim? David never thought of him as one, no he let it all happen to him. He was compliant to his own abuse. “I let it happen.” 

Patrick inhaled sharply at the surge of emotions, “It doesn’t change that you were hurt and you didn’t want to be hurt. I don’t have any experience here, but I know that abuse is always the fault of the abuser and one of the sinister ways they function is by convincing the ones they abused that their at fault too. David, you didn’t invite any of it to happen, you didn’t deserve any of it and you are certainly not to blame. You survived terrible people.”

David could cry again, but he wouldn’t let himself. He let Patrick’s sure words sink in. He wanted to believe them, even did a little, but he spent too many years blaming himself that it wasn’t all going to change in one conversation. 

“How,” David stroked the sides of Patrick’s head as if smoothing out his hair, “did I get someone like you to like me?”

Patrick smiled, sensing that while David was being earnest, that he needed some relief from the tension, “I’m sure there was some voodoo involved.” 

“I would never dabble into something like that,” David mocked offense, “But, there was that one time Alexis and I used a ouija board to ask where our parents kept their stash of alcohol. Maybe something got lost in translation?”

"How old were you when you did this? Maybe it was when I was suddenly possessed and overcome with the urge to move to Schitt’s Creek? I mean I did hold off on the urge for years, but here I am. Here we are.”

“Oh shush,” David grinned, kissing his boyfriend happily. He honestly had expected the night to end miserably after confessing to his past, but there they were, joking and kissing like nothing had happened. No, not like nothing happened, like they were bonded together stronger than before. 

After the kiss deepened, Patrick’s hands grabbed onto David’s sides and in a seamless move — though David had no idea how it he pulled it off — Patrick flipped David onto his back on the couch and was pressing down on him. Patrick pushed a leg in between his legs to press his thigh against David’s groin. “Mm,” David smiled into the passionate kiss Patrick pulled him into with a hand gripping the back of his head.

The kiss became hurried as their bodies moved against each other’s, desperate for more. It didn’t take long for David to unbutton Patrick’s shirt and push it off, and at the uncomfortable feel of a leather sweater on Patrick’s chest, David’s own sweater quickly followed. Patrick took the time to take good care of David’s clothes, though David was so filled with need that he couldn’t care less about it for once. There was a time before Schitt’s Creek where he would never care about folding his clothes in the middle of getting undressed with someone else, but that was a time when he could buy new designer clothes or could pay for the proper dry cleaning. Still, as much as he cherished the clothes he saved from repossession, he only cared about having his mouth all over Patrick. Patrick’s other leg pushed its way in between David’s legs and he rolled his hips against David’s while claiming his mouth again. They moaned into each other’s mouths as they grinded their hardening cocks against each other. Patrick kept a hand firmly on the back of David’s neck, using it to help his tongue prob deeper in David’s mouth, while his other hand roamed down to pinch the man’s nipple. David’s hips jolted as he gasped in shock, he was almost completely hard then and his hands grabbed onto Patrick’s ass to pull him closer. 

“David,” Patrick breathed out, as he broke the kiss for air, his eyes were lidded with lust as he looked down at his boyfriend.

“I know,” David stopped moving and whispered, “Not here.” He was also breathing hard, trying to will down his erection so that they could make it out of the store and to anywhere else where they could continue this.

“No,” the one word from Patrick was enough to have David’s erection at full attention, damn did he ever miss how much this man got him going, “I want you so much. Right now.” Patrick knew his rational side would scold him later, but he couldn’t wait any longer to taste David again. He didn’t want to wait until they got to the motel, he needed David right then. His hand was already struggling to work out David’s complicated skirt-pant combination.

“Oh my God, yeah, fuck, have me,” David babbled, making Patrick chuckle softly into his neck as he trailed his way down with soft kisses only to bite down at the junction to his shoulder. David groaned, hips thrusting up and Patrick finally got to pushing his pants down. 

“You’re so ready for me,” Patrick appraised as his hand grabbed onto David’s cock over the cotton boxers. He could feel just how hard the man was for him and that he was leaking through his boxers in anticipation. David was at a loss for word, his body too electrified for his brain to form actual thoughts, moans were the only sounds he made as Patrick bit his way down to his nipple. 

He gasped when Patrick sucked hard on his nipple while slipping his hand into David’s boxers. When he bit down hard, his hand wrapped around David’s cock. The strangled noise that came out of David was so loud and obscene that Patrick wanted to hear it again and again. For a second, he worried that a passerby of the store might call the cops, then he worried that it might  _not_  happen. The realization sent a rush through him, the idea of such a thing happening was oddly exhilarating. He lazily stroked David, smearing pre-cum over his shaft, as he licked soothingly at David’s tender flesh before his mouth found the other nipple. This time, he went straight for the bite while his hand gripped David’s cock earning another satisfactory, loud cry from his boyfriend. 

“Patrick,” David breathed out through heavy breaths, making Patrick acutely aware of how much his jeans were uncomfortably tight with his own cock hard and leaking.

“Yes, David,” he looked up innocently at the man.

It took David a moment before he could say anything, there should be laws against Patrick looking at him like that while he held David’s cock in a grip that had him struggling not to thrust his hips into it. “Please.” 

Usually, Patrick would tease relentlessly until David’s begging was an endless stream of babbles, but he’d been waiting a week for this and David’s one simple ‘please’ had him weak. Without hesitation, he slipped down the couch, pulling David’s boxers down with his pants. He knew they should likely put something between them and the couch, but with David’s cock so close to his face, he couldn’t care less about ruining the furniture. He wrapped a hand back around the base, stroking slightly as he brought his mouth to the tip to lick up the pre-cum.

“Fuck David,” Patrick moaned, “You taste so good.” David’s hips twitched at the words, making Patrick shift so that his arm was keeping David’s hips pressed down. 

“Oh my God,” David panted. Patrick hadn’t even taken him in his mouth yet and already he was on the precipice of losing it. No one had ever known his body like Patrick did, he knew every way to touch him and speak to him that sent him to the edge faster than he ever thought possible. In a manner of seconds, Patrick had him shaking and begging and completely out of his anxiety-ridden head. Overthinking had always been a block for his sex life in the past, which was why he was often intoxicated in one way or another — or multiple ways — but not with Patrick.

Patrick smiled up at David while slipping his cock into his warm mouth. His tongue got to work immediately, swirling around the tip as he sucked, then pressing flat against the underside of the shaft as he moved down. David was writhing underneath his hold on him, moans echoing slightly when he tossed his head back. Patrick slipped his free hand to massage David's balls eliciting a babbling stream of cuss words and his name from David, letting him know David was close to coming. He let go of David's cock to grip his hip in order to take in as much cock as he could in his mouth while stroking David with his tongue. His hand on David's balls slipped down, brushing over his perineum to have a finger slide over to his puckered hole. 

David gasped out a hand flying down to Patrick's head before white heat seared through him and he lost all sense of anything other than pure bliss as he came hard in Patrick's mouth. Patrick greedily swallowed all of David's cum, riding out his orgasm before popping off and wiping his mouth of spit. He loved hearing and watching David come, but something about the moment right after, while David slowly came back down, was his favourite. It was probably the way David looked so relaxed and happy, no anxious thoughts needling him. It was also likely the way David would pet Patrick's hair tenderly. He supposed it was everything about it. 

"You are quite the tease," David said finally, looking down at Patrick who was leaning into David's hand while his own hand was cupping an ass cheek. 

"Who said anything about teasing?" Patrick smirked, kissing David’s hip. 

David's jaw dropped at the words, "I'm sorry, what?" 

Patrick moved up to lean over David, while sliding his fingers back into his crack and over his entrance, leaving one to rest over it. "You heard me." He kissed him hard and dirty, and David kissed back greedily tasting himself in his boyfriend's mouth. 

"Mm, we need-" David tried to say but Patrick kept kissing him. 

Then David's lips were cold and swollen and Patrick pushed himself up and off him. "Up," he said, slapping David's hip since he couldn’t access his ass. He retrieved his shirt and started dressing while David stared at him. 

"What- what's going on?" 

Patrick chuckled, grabbing his bag to pull out the motel key, "We can continue this elsewhere, unless you're okay with just being teased?" 

David quickly yanked his pants and boxes back on and grabbed his sweater in record time. "Let's go!" he exclaimed, almost out of the stockroom with the sweater half over his head and pants still undone. Patrick grinned as he followed, excited to get David to himself all night. Before slipping through the curtain, he looked back at the couch and blushed. He couldn't believe he broke his own rule despite knowing they could have changed venues. 

But if it meant hearing David’s moan every time he looked at the couch, he had no regrets. Even if it would be distracting.

 

**

 

The drive to the motel was quick and slightly uncomfortable for Patrick since David’s hand on high up on his thigh did nothing to subside his bulging erection. He considered for a moment to start wearing jeans that weren’t so tight, but then thought better of it. He knew David was always looking at his ass when they worked together and he hated the idea of keeping a good view from him. 

Patrick only just closed the door when David pushed him against it and kissed him wildly, smoothly locking the door before placing his hands on the man’s hips. He pressed against Patrick, revelling in the feel of how hard he still was. In seconds, he had Patrick’s shirt unbuttoned again and he tugged his own sweater off over his head, tossing it to the floor carelessly before going back to kissing Patrick deeply and thoroughly. Patrick moaned into the kiss, oddly delighted at the way David disregarded care for his clothing in favour of Patrick. 

“Mm,” David broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Patrick’s as he caught his breath. Slowly, he pushed Patrick’s shirt off his shoulders and they both let it fall to the ground after untucking it from his jeans. “I would love to hear you plans for this evening. Do you have an itinerary for me to read?” he teased with a giant grin.

“Uh, no, no itinerary, but,” Patrick’s hands rested on David’s shoulders and started pushing him back towards the bed, “there is definitely a plan.”

David never thought someone planning out a night of sex would be so arousing, but damn, his cock was half hard again at Patrick confessing to one. “Mm, and what would that be?”

Patrick smiled as the back of David’s knees hit the end of the bed, “You’ll see,” he teased, then stepped away from David to kneel down and untie his shoes. David took that as a hint to get his own shoes off and he raced to kick them off and take off his own socks while Patrick took his sweet time. 

Footwear completely removed, Patrick stood in front of David again and kissed him, hands firmly holding his head. The pace was agonizingly slow for David, wanting desperately for Patrick to get on with having his way with him. He whined into the kiss, earning a small chuckle from Patrick. 

“Something wrong?” he asked with that big smile that always annoyed and thrilled David. Patrick slipped a hand from David’s face, trailing it down his shoulders, chest, pinching a nipple, then over his abdomen to his waistband. 

David was almost bouncing in place at the torturous pace his boyfriend was setting. “Nothing,” he lied pathetically.

“Nothing?” Patrick leaned forward to nip at David's ear.

“Mm, nothing at all,” David shook his head.

Patrick’s smile turned to a smirk as a finger teased at the waistband of David’s pants, running along the edge around to David’s back, then back around again, making David’s knees weak and skin rise up in goose bumps. “So, you’re completely okay if we keep going like this?” He loved to make David say what he wanted, to make demands, just as much as he loved the way David squirmed while he considered whether to comply with them or not.

“Patrick,” David grabbed his boyfriend’s face, the little patience he had driven away by wild lust, “I’m going to die right here, right now, if you don’t hurry up and fuck me already.”

Patrick bit his lip, his whole body rushing with heat at the words. “You want me to fuck you?”

"Ugh,” David groaned in frustration, “Yes, I want—” Patrick cut him off with a fierce kiss, hands pushing David’s pants and boxers down. Without wasting time, David helped get his bottoms off and kicked them away, his own hands working at Patrick’s belt. Patrick’s hands wove into David hair, kissing him hard as David carefully unzipped his jeans, cognizant of just how hard his boyfriend was. Then, his pants and boxers were gone and kicked away, and Patrick was fervently pushing David onto the bed until he was lying completely on top of it and Patrick was on top of him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Patrick breathed out after positioning himself between David’s legs. He stroked the sides of David’s face, staring down at his boyfriend with wonder, like it was his first time seeing David like that.

David squirmed under the scrutiny, rutting his half hard cock against Patrick’s leaking erection. “I know,” he teased out, unable to accept the compliment naturally.

With a small laugh, Patrick kissed him quickly and moved a hand to grab onto David’s hair, forcing his head back and exposing his neck. “I can’t wait to see how you look with me inside you.”

Patrick didn’t think he could get David to sound sexier than he had in the back room of Rose Apothecary, but the choked gasp that came out of David at the words was most definitely the sexiest noise he heard. David’s whole body was tingling and he was sure his cock would be leaking if his last orgasm hadn’t been so recent, still, he knew it wasn’t going to take much more for Patrick to give him another erection.

"Holy fuck, are you serious? Oh my God, yes, please,” he babbled in true David fashion, while Patrick treated his neck to open mouth kisses, teasing his skin with teeth. When he told Patrick to fuck him, he didn’t mean like  _that,_  but damn, he wanted it. And was he ever glad that he still stuck to his ‘always be ready just in case’ policy when he got ready to see Patrick that morning. 

“You’d like that?” Patrick murmured, knowing full well the answer, but wanting to hear David say it.

“Patrick, I swear if you keep teasing, I’ll—”

“Die?” Patrick cut him off, lifting his head to smirk at the man whose face was flushed.

“It’s possible,” he shrugged, doubling down on his previous statement. 

“You’re going to die if I don’t hurry up and…?”

David pursed his lips, almost glaring at his boyfriend, and declared, “You’re not going to make me say it,” because he felt like being particularly difficult and because he knew Patrick was as eager as he was and this would tease him too.

“Well, I’m sure you’d like to know that I won’t do it,” Patrick slipped a hand to David’s hip, sliding his erection against David’s stiffening cock and biting back a moan at the feeling, “until you say it.”

“Not fair,” David whined.

Patrick chuckled, the hand on David’s hip slipping under to crudely grabbing his ass cheek, “Think of it as me needing an olive branch.” He bit down on David’s collar bone and the man could barely take it anymore.

“Mm, fuck,” he moaned, his body arching as Patrick’s fingers dug into his ass. His own fingers were digging into Patrick back, pulling his body closer to his, never having it close enough and he knew there was only one thing that could solve that problem. “Patrick,” he panted out.

“Yes, David?” Patrick asked calmly and David had to mentally curse the man. There was no way he should be able to maintain a calm, collected facade while his cock was literally smearing pre-cum on David’s stomach.

“I need you inside me,” David blurted out, only for his face to immediately burn up in embarrassment. He meant for it to come out as ‘want’ not ‘need’ and Patrick 100% noticed.

“You ‘need’ me inside you?” he asked instead of letting it slide like David hoped he would.

“Um, how about we forget I said anything and—”

Patrick kissed him to cut off his backpedal ramble, “Cause I really need to be inside you.” He emphasized the words by pressing his erection harder against David.

“Okay,” David tried to contain his smile at the words, but his lips wouldn’t listen as they spread wide. Then Patrick was reaching over to the nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube. “Someone prepared,” he commented as he watched Patrick pour some lube onto his fingers.

“I told you I had a plan,” Patrick nodded, rising to his knees between David’s legs. Without even thinking about it, David positioned himself and opened his legs wider for Patrick, making Patrick wonder if he was going to last long enough to do what he wanted to do. Seeing David like that, so ready for him - ready to give himself to Patrick - gave him pause. It was overwhelmingly better than anything he could have imagined and it shook his confidence a little.

“It’s okay if you aren’t ready,” David sensed the hesitation, reaching out to run a hand up and down Patrick’s hip. 

“Oh, I’m ready,” Patrick smiled at David, chest aching with affection for the man at such tenderness and care. He leaned over David to kiss him while his hand slipped between his boyfriend’s ass cheeks, a lubed finger finding his puckered hole, teasing it.

“Is this,” Patrick swallowed hard, as he looked David in the eyes, “Is this okay?” He needed David to know that he was completely safe with him and ensuring David was fully into everything they did was only one way he could do that.

“Mm, yes, definitely, more than,” David nodded profusely, trying not to think about how much he loved the way Patrick was so sweet, or he knew his eyes would well up again. 

Kissing David softly, Patrick pressed his finger into David, enjoying the way David’s muscles tensed around him before relaxing easily as he pressed in deeper. It gave him chills thinking about how David had told him he kept himself ready, that he would open himself up thinking of Patrick. David gasped into his mouth, instinctively pushing himself against Patrick’s finger, letting him know how much he wanted it. Patrick took his time working his finger in and out, crooking it and finding the right spot, making David moan and move more urgently against him. Then Patrick was pressing in another finger, moving faster as David’s muscles relaxed around him again, making sure to stroke his prostate ruthlessly. 

“You’re so good, David, so perfect,” he whispered, enjoying how David’s face looked as he panted and moaned, and the way his body moved, desperate for more, and looked, his cock fully erect again. 

David kissed Patrick in response, unable to form words as his brain was currently overloaded by the fact his boyfriend was fingering him for the first time and somehow, was doing it like he’d done it a thousand times before. It was pure bliss with that alone, but now he was praising David, it was too much for him to find words. 

Then Patrick pulled his fingers out of David, earning a small whine of disapproval. “David?” he asked softly, biting his lip nervously.

“Mhm?” David looked at him, trying to catch his breath and his thoughts. 

“Can I— I want,” Patrick struggled to find the words, so filled with desire that his mouth didn’t seem to want to work properly. “I want to fuck you.”

David looked confused for a second, because Patrick had been fucking him, then realization hit him and his jaw went slack. “Tonight?” he asked, then cringed at how squeaky his voice got, like it had scared him.

Patrick nodded, then quipped, “Well, I wouldn’t be bringing it up in the middle of this if I was thinking next week.”

“Right, it’s just, I wasn’t expecting that and I guess it took me by surprise.” David quickly explained, wanting to make sure Patrick knew it wasn’t that he was opposed to it.

Patrick licked his lips, feeling more confident again and spoke in a low voice he knew drove David wild, “I’ve been thinking about it way too much and feeling you just now, I need to know how it feels to be really inside you.”

David grabbed Patrick’s face and pulled him into a big kiss. Then he twisted around to look at the nightstand, finding what he hoped to find, he reached for the pack of condoms Patrick had left there earlier. David’s brain was racing at the realization that Patrick had indeed planned this too, and at the way he said those words. Fuck, he wanted Patrick to have him completely. No one had ever driven him this wild with lust before and he knew he was absolutely ruined by Patrick. There would be no one better and he didn’t want anyone else. He was Patrick’s and that might’ve scared old David, but right then, it made him feel secure.

“If it's weird or uncomfortable or anything, tell me,” David rambled as he opened the box, pulled out a packet and threw the box somewhere off to the side, “We’ll stop. No judgment, no hard feelings. Okay?” he held the condom out to Patrick who stared at him far too lovingly for him to bare.

“Okay,” he nodded, taking the packet and ripped it open, “The same goes for you. I’ll stop if you want me to stop.” He looked David in the eyes to ensure he knew that Patrick was dead serious.

“Mhm,” David sucked in his lips and nodded. “Now hurry up and fuck me before I start crying again.” Ugh, he did not want their first time to be spoiled by him crying. 

Patrick smiled and shook his head, he’d quip back, but he was more interested in doing what David told him to do. He quickly got the condom rolled onto his cock and slicked up with extra lube while David shoved a pillow under his lower back to better position himself. Teasingly, Patrick pumped David’s cock a few times, slicking it up, before he lined the head of his own cock with David’s hole and didn't hesitated in pressing in, groaning as he pushed past the first ring of muscles. 

David’s hands gripped his shoulders as he pushed in agonizingly slow. While David was always an impatient person, Patrick had plenty of patience and was very good at moving at an unhurried pace which tortured David, but also turned him on more than anything because it was exactly the kind of torture David loved. This time, the pace wasn't because he wanted to tease David, it was because he didn’t want to move too fast in fear of coming too soon and not being able to truly savour the feeling of being inside of David. He hadn’t expected it to feel that damn good - he knew it would be amazing, but it was so much more than that - to be inside the man's tight ass, he had to breathe deeply in order to keep pushing in.

“That’s it,” David breathed out soothingly, “You’re doing great.” He stroked Patrick’s face with one hand, pulling him in for a distracting kiss until Patrick was fully inside him, hips smack against him. 

“David, you feel so fucking good,” Patrick dropped his head beside David’s, trying to keep himself from coming right away, it was a struggle, he could feel David clench around him then relax again.

“Mm, I love the way you’re filling me up,” David purred into his ear and he just about lost it. He knew he wasn’t going to last long this time, but he might as well make it good.

“Yeah?” He asked, propping himself up on one hand and grabbing onto David’s side with the other. His eyes looked at him with a quick question and David nodded before he pulled out and snapped his hips hard against him, the sound of skin slapping together filling the room.

“Fuck!” David moaned out. Damn, he appreciated that Patrick didn’t spend time being soft or careful, he went right for it, already knowing what David liked. Patrick kept thrusting in and out with a brutal force, stroking David’s prostate just right each time. Somehow, Patrick gained some vigour as he watched the way he made David come apart with every thrust, being able to last more than the few pumps of his hips that he expected. David was losing his mind as Patrick fucked him hard into the mattress, Patrick felt so good inside him and he was doing all the right things to drive David to the edge. The room was echoing with the sound of slapping skin, moaning and grunting and it was positively filthy, but it was theirs and David had never been so intoxicated by such sounds, they usually made him squirm with embarrassment.

It didn’t long for David to be a babbling mess and for his hand to reach down to touch himself. Patrick was quick to catch it, pushing up by David's head and holding it down. David barely could keep it together after that, he'd told Patrick a long time ago that being he liked being held down, but Patrick hadn't done so until that moment and it was one more arousing surprise that was enough to wipe David's mind blank of everything but Patrick. It made it so all Patrick had to do was wrap his other hand around his cock and he was consumed by a white heat, coming all over Patrick’s hand and his stomach and chest as he cried out. Patrick followed soon after as David’s ass tensed around his cock while it was thrust deep inside where he came hard, vision blurred for a hot second as his whole body went aflame.

Patrick dropped onto David’s chest in exertion, not caring about the mess of David’s cum rubbing onto him. Both men were panting heavily, David’s free hand stroking Patrick’s hair while his other was still being held by Patrick. It had taken so much of David’s willpower not to say something stupid like ‘I love you.' He wasn’t going to say that while in a well-fucked state of mind, even if it had been a phrase he’d been thinking about all day. Instead, he sighed happily, unable to put into words just how amazing that was. To be fucked by someone who truly cared for him and who he truly cared for too. 

Carefully, Patrick pulled out and gave David a quick kiss before getting up to dispose of the condom. He returned as quick as he could with a dampened towel to clean them both off, tossing the towel away once done. David curled into his arms as he wriggled the covers over them and kissed him needily. Patrick welcomed the warmth of David’s body pressed against him, having been so cold the last week without him. 

“You’re amazing,” Patrick murmured against David’s lips. 

David wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “I’m sorry, but did I get you to come twice tonight? Because I’m certain that was you who did that to me, and that makes you the amazing one.”

“Mm, but it was selfishly motivated,” Patrick smirked, holding David tighter against him. “I was deprived a couple extra days of tasting you.” He licked David’s cheek for good measure.

“Ew,” David swatted playfully at Patrick as he rubbed his cheek off onto the pillow while Patrick laughed.

“I just made you cum all over yourself, but that was gross?”

“First of all, that is my own fluid,” he gestured over himself while moving in a way to emphasize the word 'fluid,' though it was awkward given his position of being pressed against Patrick. “Second— mm.” Patrick cut him off with a passionate kiss. It was the only thing keeping Patrick from saying three words that he was certain would have the man running away from him again.

When the kiss ended from their mouths being too tired and their lungs being desperate for air, David sighed happily again. “By the way,” he whispered as if speaking any louder would break the bubble of bliss they were in, “I’d be completely interested in having you fuck me again. If, you know, you want to add it to your calendar again.”

Patrick grinned, “Is that right?”

“Mhm,” David nodded lazily, “I don’t think I’ve ever been fucked that good before.”

Patrick wanted to tease him about the fact he said ‘think’ but he couldn’t stop fixating on the swell of warmth in his chest at the words. David wasn’t one to placate or pander others, and so he knew that the man was being honest. “You’re not that bad yourself,” Patrick joked, kissing David’s cheek while he tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

“That’s not nice!” David exclaimed, playfully pushing Patrick away, leading them into a playful wrestling match, that Patrick easily one — easily because David didn’t go to the gym like Patrick did and honestly if he did, he wouldn't care about strength training as much as he would toning his abs. It ended with Patrick pinning David down on the mattress, covers askew and their faces close together with grins plastered on them, despite David trying to suppress his own.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Patrick confessed softly and David’s smile disappeared in shock, “I’m so happy with you, being with you, and damn it David, you’re so incredibly sexy. Fucking you was the best thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Because David was David and he couldn’t handle the emotional sincerity of the words (especially after already delving too deep into his emotions for one night), he responded with a small smirk, “So, you could say that I’m simply the best?” 

Both men broke down laughing, Patrick rolled off David before he fell onto him as they laughed harder. He probably should be upset by David’s deflection, but he couldn’t bring himself to be anything other than happy to have David nude and next to him in a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this chapter did not go how I expected it to, honestly, Patrick wasn't going to top David until later, but here we are.  
> Hope you liked it!


	3. Bonus Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel processes Patrick's words and some other things that she never knew needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't posted in a while and this isn't even Patrick/David, I just really wanted to write more about Rachel. My part time job sort of became a full time one and now I have less time to write. Also, my next installment of this series hasn't been coming out right so it might be some time before it gets posted. 
> 
> Anyway, here's a short bonus chapter about Rachel.

Rachel walked back towards the motel and unfortunately the barbecue of people who’d just witnessed her incredibly embarrassing moment: the man she’d been with since high school was gay. “Hey, are you okay?” Alexis grabbed her arm before she could walk by, her voice considerately low.

“Um,” Rachel hesitated, she didn’t know what to feel. She’d been kind to Patrick, promised to keep it a secret and even suggested they remain friends, but she was numb. She had no idea how to process this information. 

“Look, I know that this must be quite a shock for you,” Alexis said quickly, “Like I actually know how it feels for David to sleep with an ex. I mean not exactly, turned out to be my ex’s twin and not actually him. My point is you are allowed to feel however you feel about this and if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“Uh thanks,” Rachel furrowed her brows, she had no idea what to make of Alexis, “But I’m a stranger.”

“Mm I know,” Alexis dipped her knees to be at Rachel’s eye level, “But so am I and you still tried to help me this morning, and like I feel partially responsible for what happened. Like obviously I’m not, Patrick should have told you way before and like I had no idea—”

“Okay,” Rachel nodded, cutting off Alexis’s ramble that was actually making it worse. Her eyes shifted to the older couple sitting at the table staring at them and the lady from the motel who was eating, “I think, maybe, um.” She had no idea what to say, she didn’t even know what to think about everything that was going on. It felt like a fever dream and any moment she would wake up.

“Mm here, let’s,” Alexis nodded her head to the motel and Rachel nodded. Rachel lead the way back to her room and softly closed the door behind them. Alexis walked into the room like she owned the place — much like she walked into any room — and turned on the light before turning to Rachel, who sullenly dropped onto the bed, hands on her lap.

“He’s…” she tried to say it but her throat closed up. Years of her life were flashing before her with his words sounding over them.  _I’m gay, Rachel._ Everything was fake, or maybe not fake, it wasn’t fair to call it that, but it certainly felt that way. She was torn between wanting to accept him for being him and wanting to scream and curse him for taking so much from her, for making most of her life a lie.

“Look,” Alexis gingerly sat down next to Rachel, not really wanting to sit on the bed even though she knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with it — she slept in one of the motel beds every night — and she reached out to hold Rachel’s hand, “I don’t know everything about you and Patrick, but from what you said earlier, it sounded a lot like an on again off again type deal. I assume you came here to win him back again and it clearly didn’t work out so well.” Alexis winced realizing she wasn’t really making it better, “What I'm getting at is, now you can truly move on. I know what it’s like falling in and out with the same person hoping it will work cause maybe they’re fun and amazing in bed, but that’s not who you deserve.”

“I love him,” Rachel breathed out the only thing she was still sure of, “For most of my life, how can I… What am I supposed to do with this? How can I move forward when all— all of it is a lie?”

“Okay, I can see how you would see it that way, but think of it like he was the one who you needed to learn from in order to truly appreciate the one you’re supposed to be with?”

“Is that what you think of your ex?” Rachel frowned, unsure how much of this girl’s advice she should actually take. She did just spend the day trying to get back with her ex who has a girlfriend. Then it dawned on Rachel, she did the same thing that day, only unknowingly.

“Ted’s the one I shouldn’t have let go,” she admitted softly, looking away at nothing in particular, then perked right back up and looked at her, “You’re a pretty young thing, you’ll bounce back. Cry for a few days, drink or pop a pill, then get back out there and I just know you’ll find the perfect man.” She accentuated her words with pokes to Rachel’s shoulder.

Rachel laughed dryly, “Yeah, so simple.” Sure she had played the single game before, every break she’d been on with Patrick. Been to bars and clubs, swiped on dating apps, slept with other guys, but never dated anyone else. Never got into it with the purpose of a future, her future was him, even when they weren’t together. 

Alexis was still beaming at her, radiating positivity like she could turn anything into sunshine and rainbows. She was beyond Rachel’s full understanding, a woman who looked and dressed like the kind of model on the pages of magazines. Actually, Rachel was sure she’d seen Alexis on a magazine before. Why was this woman even bothering to help her? Why was someone like her even in a small town like Schitt’s Creek?

“Of course it is,” Alexis grinned leaning forward to poke Rachel’s cheek, “You can even call me to help doll you up. Maybe even have a few nights of just fun before you look for the right one.”

Rachel instinctively leaned forward and Alexis shot back, blinking at her in shock. “Oh sorry, I- I don’t even.”

“Like don’t even worry about it,” Alexis waved dismissively, standing up, “Here, let me just,” she bounced over to the room’s desk and jotted down her number on the notepad, “That’s my uh number if you ever need anything— well not  _anything_ anything, but like if you want makeup tips or something.

“Yeah, of course, um thank you,” Rachel nodded, avoiding eye contact as her face burned bright red.  _What was that?_  She wondered, trying to figure out where that even came from.

“Are you going to be good or do you need me to… like stay?” Alexis was inching towards the door awkwardly.

“No, I mean, I’ll be fine I think. Thank you, you don’t have to stay.”

“Okay,” she clapped her hands together, “Well, like it was so good to meet you and stay in touch!” with that she slipped out of the room and Rachel was alone with her messy thoughts.

Alexis was very attractive and for a split second she really wanted to kiss her. Where did that come from? Rachel shook her head and flopped back onto the bed, her hands flying out to her sides. Was it because of what Patrick had told her? She bit her bottom lip as her thoughts went back to him. Her chest felt like it was caving in, finally breaking at the finality of them. Tears welled up in her eyes at the confusion. She was so happy for him and so angry and hurt that he was happy without her. 

Maybe there’d been some signs, but she knew she couldn’t go down that path. Clearly he didn’t know and no amount of signs before would have changed anything. Were there signs for her? Was she…? No. She was positive that she was into men, but she wasn’t so sure she wasn’t into women too. The longer she laid there thinking about her life with Patrick, the more she realized that maybe she wasn’t as straight as they thought either.

A bubble of a laugh escaped through her silent sobs before breaking into outright hysterical laughter. It was all so absurdly ridiculous. She spent most of her life hung up on a man who recently discovered he’s gay and never considered the possibility she might not be straight. It was going to be a long while before she’d be able to get back out into the dating pool, even longer before she’d be willing to talk to Patrick again, but she knew in that moment, she wanted to tell him what she’d realized. She knew it was going to be okay and maybe one day, she’d get her best friend back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please let me know I'm not the only one who thought this about Rachel when she checked Alexis out in commenting on her hair and body. It also makes sense when you think of how queer people always find each other even if they don't even know they're queer. (seriously, pretty much all of my high school friends who said they were straight then are queer now). Also, I really like the idea of Patrick and Rachel being best friends and that's why he dated her (confusing platonic love with romantic is so damn easy).


End file.
